Life's a Bitch!!!!... Breathe

Losing two jobs in one year wasn’t exactly on my 2025 bingo card, but here we are. If you read my first blog, you’re probably wondering how on earth I’ve ended up jobless… again. The short answer? Life’s a bitch.

The first time was redundancy. That one really hurt. I’d spent three and a half years there, loved the people, believed in what we were doing, and then suddenly it was over. I had two months of redundancy pay and a rising sense of panic. Everyone kept saying, “You should enjoy this time off! You’ll never get this chance again.” Which sounds great in theory, but when there’s a timer on your bank account, it’s not exactly a relaxing sabbatical.

Then came my most recent job. On paper, it looked even better. I genuinely thought I’d be able to make a difference, grow, and actually do something meaningful there. Dear god, was I wrong. I have never been so unhappy at work. I was worked into the ground, thrown in at the deep end with no real guidance, and expected to somehow just “get it” when no one had the time to show me how anything was done. From day one, it was a mess.

So I left. Officially, it was on good terms, but let’s be honest, they were ready for me to go. And now, yes, I’m unemployed again. But here’s the twist: a massive weight has lifted off my shoulders. I might not have an income right now, but I feel like myself again. I can breathe. I’m not waking up with that knot of dread in my stomach every morning, and that alone feels priceless.

I’ve been able to spend loads of time with my parents and, more importantly (I joke… kind of), my dog. Getting myself out of London has done more for my brain than any self-help book ever could. I’ve been taking walks in actual fresh air, eating amazing food, and just letting myself breathe. For the first time in a long time, I don’t feel like I’m constantly bracing for impact.

I’m not pretending this is going to be easy. My savings won’t last forever, and at some point, I’m going to have to figure out how to make money again. But I deserve to take my time searching for the right opportunity. I’m heading to Australia soon, and I’ve decided I deserve to live my best life while I’m there. The panic, the spreadsheets, the “what next?” spiral, they can all wait until 2026.

For now, I’m choosing relief over burnout, uncertainty over misery, and a little bit of faith that somehow, it will all work out. So the Austrailia diaries will commence next week!